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Something isn't adding up

2002-2003 My friend died at age 48 leaving behind 4 children and a husband. She had stopped speaking to me a year prior to her death. We didn't have an argument we just stopped talking having grown apart. Our opinions changing after 9/11, were before we could agree to disagree. It seemed our differences no longer made for great conversation but became a gulf and we drifted apart.

The thing was that during that year I went through something strange. Almost every night I would fall asleep and hear the words 'you have cancer'. I would wake up distressed and heart pounding. I would think do I have cancer ? I was in good health didn't feel sick in any way so it didn't make sense. But the dreams continued. Since hearing of other peoples description of sleep paralyse that is what it felt like being unable to move. The night before she died I felt it again only this time I was wide awake and sitting on my couch not in bed or dreaming, I heard 'I don't want to die'. it made me feel angry and confused. The next day her husband called to tell me she had passed away, having been diagnosed a few months prior with an aggressive form of cancer .

She had made her husband promise not to tell anyone not even her children about her diagnosis . He told me he wanted to call many times. Since I knew how to lucid dream or astral project what ever you want to call it. A state very real, were you stay conscious while your body rests or sleeps not imagined real. I wanted to see if I could find her in the afterlife, lower astral. I gave my self the intention to look for her when I would fall asleep. I found myself at what looked like a hospital or convalescence home. I walked up to a woman dressed like a nurse and asked if I could see my friend. She looked at me very surprised and asked me what I was doing there, that I should not be there. She went on to say that my being there would upset my friend and set her back as she didn't really know she was dead to her old life. I wasn't happy and started to demand to see her. The woman said it will upset her to see you as she is recovering and leaving behind her old life it will confuse her, she is being prepared for her new one. I really wanted to talk to my friend but I also didn't want to upset her as the woman kept on insisting that it would. She said I could see her but only from a distance and in no way could I talk to her. I saw my friend through a window. She was in a wheelchair in a garden looking relaxed . Many times I have thought about this and wondered. I questioned why I had been having these intrusions before sleep was it psychic awareness ? then why was I hearing ' you' and not my friends name. I remember saying to myself if this is psychic awareness what good is it if I didn't know who it was about, it obviously wanted me to believe it was me by saying you have cancer or was it me speaking to my friend. Also if it was a psychic premonition it wasn't very good as It didn't give me information to help my friend. I was lucid I was there but where was there. The lower astral plain ? the afterlife , place in between, Or something else ? This is were I got myself confused to many descriptions for the same anomaly. My friend loved her children and to leave them like this was really against her nature in my opinion, Her husband had indicated that she had not been herself for a while, that she wasn't the woman he had married. This wasn't the only time I saw her. Many years later, I would visit again, this time she was with her now deceased husband who died a couple of years after her. There was a small child with them. She told me it was her grandchild. She looked healthy years younger She had a picnic basket and pulled out a bottle of wine she poured herself a glass and raised it and said 'to you my good friend we are rooting for you' I wonder if others have had experiences like this ?

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